Who Runs the World? Your mother…

Millennial mothers live in a time when it’s not enough just to be a mom, stay at home and raise a family; when it’s unacceptable to abandon our children at daycare for a few hours to maintain careers; when it’s expected women be everything to everyone and to do everything for everyone.

So, how do we respond? We just f*cking do it.

That’s not to say it’s easy. That’s laughable.

Some days, it’s really f*cking hard, and we fantasize about naps and pedicures. Some days, we let the Disney Channel take care of our kids temporarily while we gather our sanity.

Some days, we catch ourselves daydreaming about a trip to Target without our children. (If there ever comes a day when that actually happens, chaos would ensue.)

But, those days are not today.

Today, there are multiple doctor appointments and grocery lists long enough to bring tears to our eyes. Today, there is a mountain of dirty laundry and a sink full of filthy dishes.

Today, there are little boys on sugar highs who are running in circles screaming, “No pants!” Today, there are little girls who are awaiting our RSVP to the exclusive tea parties they’re hosting in linen closets.

Today, there are tantrums and meltdowns. Today is not the day.

Maybe, tomorrow there will be a minute for some “me” time.

That’s funny. No, there won’t.

Tomorrow, there is a race to get out the door on time and drop the kids off at the sitter before heading to work. Tomorrow, there are deadlines and performance reviews. Tomorrow, we have to put on our big girl pants and be professionals.

Tomorrow, we have to keep our sh*t together for at least eight hours until we can clock out. Tomorrow, we have to race home for supper and bed time stories after getting stuck at work late.

Tomorrow is not the day.

To be honest, we aren’t sure when there will be time for us to care about ourselves again.

We don’t know when there will come a day when we can sleep in until 9 am. We don’t know when we’re going to have a chance to drink too much and laugh too loudly at girls’ night again.

We don’t know when we’re going to get a bathroom break by ourselves again. Our guess is never.

Despite the circus that is the life of women with children, jobs and responsibilities, we wouldn’t have it any other way. Silence is terrifying, and calm is uncomfortable.

We probably wouldn’t even know what to do with “me” time. Most likely, we’d panic.

Our kids might be demanding and irrational, but they’re also adorable and incredibly sweet.

They might look like hot messes and smell like sour milk sometimes, but we can’t resist the hilarious results of letting them dress themselves. And sometimes, bath time is at the bottom of a very lengthy list of demands.

Although they are often unreasonable and occasionally intolerable; although there are days when we want to hide and days when we consider hysterectomies because we’re so afraid of what would happen if we had another baby; although it’s hard, it’s all worth it.

So long as there are enough chocolate milk boxes in the fridge to bribe our children into good behavior; so long as there are enough packs of Goldfish in the pantry to tame our toddlers; so long as there are bottles of wine readily available at the end of the night, we will continue to be everything to everyone.

That’s our job. And, we’re pretty f*cking awesome at it.

**I wrote this article for Elite Daily. Unfortunately it was published with a typo in the TITLE of all places! You can see it on their site here:  http://elitedaily.com/life/culture/who-run-the-world-moms/1103568/ **

5 thoughts on “Who Runs the World? Your mother…

  1. There is a time when we finally get “me” time. I hate it. After raising one girl and four boys I can tell you that I truly wonder where all the chaos went to. They are raising kids of their own or off in college or planning a wedding, but they took the chaos with them. If I could just have one more day back from when they were little I would take it in a heart beat.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Yes to all of this, but I can’t help wondering if the mindset of doing it all, being everything, dying to self, etc. is healthy? I’m fully in the thick of it with a 2 and 3 year old and trying my damnedest to paint and write as well. So fully feel every particle of this post, but my soul can’t seem to settle for the loss of “me”. Who I am apart from career and mothering and wife-ing is demanding to see the light of day. There is something to be said for carving out time for stillness and alone-ness and friendship and a spiritual life and dreams.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I would kill for a minute to myself. Right now we have a 6 month old and 22 month old. The baby suddenly is very clingy and the toddler is all over the place. We both work and use what little family help we have for the days when we both have to be gone. We take turns for me time lol. We will get there eventually though. A little more every day I start to feel slightly more normal.

      Like

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